I want to feel like a girl. I don't feel like the girly girl I am. Okay, I'm not a girly girl. I like adrenaline (well some part of me does) and I let slugs crawl all over me, and I spit like a guy (farther than my boyfriend can spit, actually) but I love love lovveeee to wear heels. I hate sneakers. Yuck. I just don't like them, they aren't me. I like to dress up. I love accessories. They are my best friend. I like eye shadow, and mascara. I like earrings. Big earrings, star earrings, guitar earrings, chandelier earrings, striped earrings, polka dot, robot. I love them all. I love skirts. Pencil, bubble. I love boots, dammit!
Why am I complaining? Okay look. I have lots of earrings, bracelets, necklaces, the works. I do not have clothes. I'm 4'9" and used to be eighty pounds. I was an A cup, (then B) and had a gap between my legs that I despised. But I didn't look anorexic; you couldn't see my bones, just my clavicle. I have since gained a good amount of weight. I love my ass. It's perfect. My boobs are a C cup (since recently, so it has nothing to do with the weight, apparently) I love my body. The gut has to go, because I have this rule about not letting my belly stick out further than my boobs, but of course that's in the works.
Back to the point.
I cannot afford a sock. I am so not joking. I have no clothes that express who I am as a girl in the world. None whatsoever (except the last two pairs of boots someone bought me)
My shirts too small, my jeans too tight (hel-freaking-lo I was a size zero before) I'm wearing my mother's hand-me-downs -___- we do NOT have the same taste. Um, yeah, that happens when someone is 28 years older than you. UGH.
I do not want to say fml because I feel like that's jynxing myself. I just want to feel like a freaking woman. I'd love to be able to get the clothes that I'm dying to wear. And trust me, I do not have expensive taste. I shop at rainbow, 579 and pay half. and Payless. And I find the greatest things there. A splurge for me would be newport news.
Yeah, I feel like shit.
Sigh.
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